Joy

I couldn’t find the joy, I couldn’t see the good, I couldn’t join the laugh. I knew, saw and heard them all, but they seemed so far away. Lost in the thick fog, another world moving by as I sat and moved so slow. My mind lost to a world of worry, a sadness of darkness. So I wrote in hopes to find a way, through art as we often do. Through the walls that creativity does not see.

Writing with clenched hands and tense eyes, shoulders tightened with the pain of the day. Putting the hurt onto the page. Pouring the fear through the ink. Leaving the slow motion, leaving the pain. Turning inside once more so as to be just me. Who I am, where I am, without the world that would hurt me, the world that would put me aside when I don’t conform.

Here on the page, I find the connected hearts, like veins of plants reaching out to share and bond.

I dig deeper, I reach taller, I breathe once more as me. The strength of me returns to see the light. I left my wilted spirit and hear the laughter once more. The edges of my mouth turn to a smile in the goodness of simplicity. My heart feels it’s own warmth again in the joy within me.

My friend, some days are simply hard. Some days we just plain hurt. Some days we need to know we are connected and yet still feel our own. Some days we need to be.

If you are having a day like that, I hope this message finds you. Maybe you can’t find the peace in the moment given where you are, who is around or what is going on. I hope though, in the minutes to read this, you may find the calm that leads you back to you. For you are the joy the world needs, the uniqueness of you.

Motherhood

The state of being a mother.

Dictionary.com

Ah, it is is thankfully so much more than that dear dictionary.com

Motherhood is the village grown larger with each light born anew. We find not only the child in the light; but all the smiles and hearts warmed by the softest touch, a toothless smile, a belly giggle. From the moment the light is born, our village grows with each day, through teachers, coaches, friends, aunts, uncles, grandparents, coworkers and the passerby who smiles on our wild days.

It is true, the light dims somedays with loss, heartbreak, exhaustion, or fear,

but on this day, may we each take a breath and let our hearts shine again.

For the mothers around you to whom you are child or village, be your brightest light of love and heart. Let the world be filled with kindness and compassion. May your own light be true, so that it may smile upon the motherhood around you.

IN EVERY SMILE WE CHANGE THE WORLD

May your day be heartfull, let the moon guide you to the stars…

Let us be wild

LM – I want to wear my princess dress.
Me – OK Hon, go get it.
LM – I not HON…goes to get her dress.
Me – she is so HON
LM – MAMA – I READY
Me – Oh darlin, you are amazing

And I sit back and smile with my little HON in all her wild, glory.

My HON – Tiara, kitty, sunglasses, princess dress and all; I am reminded how life is much simpler than we make it out to be each day.

Our adult rules, made to keep order in a world with it’s own frequency, it’s own order, an order of which we comprehend so little. We can control the world as much as we can control the imagination of our children. Though we have tried, is the better quest instead to celebrate and love?

Rather than control our day, each other, our happenings; I hope we can find ourselves and celebrate the beauty in the sunrise, the smile in each other, the joy in each moment.

Rather than feeling out of control, maybe we use that feeling as a reminder to put on our favorite anything, grab a smile, a best friend and be wild.

For we are only out of control, when we try to control.

For anyone not yet familiar with our HON roots: http://honfest.net/.

Be well my dears, live heartfull and dance in the light.

Dream big

We ask of their dreams

What do you want to be when

Ask now what they want

I could ask what he wants to be when he wants to for up. Instead I ask, what do you want to do to change the world. I ask how, what makes you happy, what do you want to share with the world.

The same goes for each of us. How do we want to live? What do we want to share with the world?

The middle ground

The middle

The unseen

The low risk

The hidden

The safe

I have lived in the middle. I have loved to fit the mold. I have loved to calm the waters. I have lived to keep the peace. I have hidden me, for what I thought you needed.

I see now

You wanted to see me

I want to be me

When I let go of what I think you want

When I embrace who I am

When I am me

We are we

Happiness in our life adventures, may you always be you

The middle ground

The middle

The unseen

The low risk

The hidden

The safe

I have lived in the middle. I have loved to fit the mold. I have loved to calm the waters. I have lived to keep the peace. I have hidden me, for what I thought you needed.

I see now

You wanted to see me

I want to be me

When I let go of what I think you want

When I embrace who I am

When I am me

We are we

Happiness in our life adventures, may you always be you

Darkness

The clock ticks, night darkness calms, sleepy eyes rest upon the fading night sky

Time everlasting, cool air surrounds, warming coffee promises float through the air

The cycle continues, stars shine bright, the morning comes to shine through the day

Until tonight, my dear night sky

Balance

I have not set a resolution in enough years that I cannot remember my last resolution. This year however, fueled by yoga and ayurvedic studies, I have worked to set an intention. For me, balance is the much needed gift I need to give to myself.

As I started to think about what balance really meant though, I felt the nagging hurt. That fear and hurt that focusing on balance was just going to leave me feeling couldn’t get it all done, and of course that I was failing everything rather than thriving and anything. That thought hit me hard as a simple self made up lie and set in motion a commitment to balance.

Balance is the joy of self internal and external connections, the happiness felt by overall peace.

With fair confidence in my own thoughts and words, I was further encouraged this morning by a TED talk recommended to me by the fabulous self propelling filters and coding of the TED app. If you are looking to really be joyous in your own self, I hope you will follow the link to the talk.

Embrace your raw, strange magic – Casey Gerald: https://www.ted.com/talks/casey_gerald_embrace_your_raw_strange_magic?rid=rs0B8PCM3rTN

After the morning drive inspiration and affirmation that balance is my perfect intention I set off to work for the first time after holiday. It was a great day between work and having a tea party with my favorite little girl while dinner cooked. Followed by some awesome snuggles with my little man (photo not included).

with her favorite partner in crime

Then I let my balance shift. I decided to check my email after dinner and realized I missed a meeting that had been scheduled, and that I knew about, during kid pickup. It was one of those meetings that 30+ people were invited to attend, only a handful would participate and really my participation was not needed since I work with an amazing team. Yet, I found myself disappointed that I forgot about the meeting and then, the TED talk from the morning drive floated like the awakening smell of a strongly brewed coffee on a cold winter morning.

My best balance act of the day was gifted to me from the stars and my forgetful memory. My best act was choosing what was right for me, and in doing so my teammates are trusted and my family is loved.

I worked today along with my team and I happily played with my children who were reminded again that mama hopes for a world where our choice is always connection and love.

To the teams that support me every day at home and at work, to the star gazers who dream with me for a happy and healthy world – thank you for granting me this gift today.

I am as excited as my little man with a new snow tube in winter!