Heart Full

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Love

A short word, one syllable and just 4 letters. Yet we live for it, die for it, long for it, celebrate in it, fight in the name of it, smile in the grace of it.

After a wild month of growing the family, getting COVID-19 throughout the house, changing the family dynamic again, growing the family to include 2 more fur babies, laughing, resting, welcoming fall, being virtual, exploring, and creating I felt tired through it all. As we began to come out of our healing rest I knew it was time to write again, my mind was swimming with ideas but focus was elusive. So true to momma bear form, I turned to my little one for the eyes of innocence and simplicity.

I asked the simple question, curious of the creation that can come from his wild mind.

“what do you think the world needs to hear?”

And so it is, love had found its way to open my eyes and grow our hearts again

As we sat and enjoyed the view of a perfect afternoon, I thought of love and our love of family and friends. It seemed enough to write about and still I find the need to expand my view on love and I hope you will with me.

Love with heartfull includes the world in its big and small. Love of the 1, 2, 5, 1 thousand, 1 million, of the whole. Love is when we find the truth of ourselves and share that with empathy to all and in all.

With my heartfull, I looked at my day, at my mindset, at my relations and I knew I needed to be more me – True to myself.

Too often I find myself needing love

When I am short to react yet long to connect
When I multitask yet crave to focus
When I make the comfortable choice yet my dreams need nourishment
When I argue yet I need a hug
When I ignore and feel isolated

I have excuses that I just need more time, maybe next year, I need a little break, there is just too much. Well all those things are true but when I really think about it, I see that I already have everything I need to love more and be more.

I have the time to give, I have the focus to share, I have the passion to drive and I have the dream to be heartfull.

When you find your passion it is like breathing, it is crucial, it is life and I want to live that way and hope you will as well.

What is it that is the “thing” for you?

My things are a list of things

Ending the creation of single use plastic
Bringing thought and love to education
Growing the focus and connection of yoga
Teaching purpose over ease

For each of these I commit to action. By committing to myself and my passion to share my love with the whole and live Heartfull.

How will you love Heartfull?

Balance

I have not set a resolution in enough years that I cannot remember my last resolution. This year however, fueled by yoga and ayurvedic studies, I have worked to set an intention. For me, balance is the much needed gift I need to give to myself.

As I started to think about what balance really meant though, I felt the nagging hurt. That fear and hurt that focusing on balance was just going to leave me feeling couldn’t get it all done, and of course that I was failing everything rather than thriving and anything. That thought hit me hard as a simple self made up lie and set in motion a commitment to balance.

Balance is the joy of self internal and external connections, the happiness felt by overall peace.

With fair confidence in my own thoughts and words, I was further encouraged this morning by a TED talk recommended to me by the fabulous self propelling filters and coding of the TED app. If you are looking to really be joyous in your own self, I hope you will follow the link to the talk.

Embrace your raw, strange magic – Casey Gerald: https://www.ted.com/talks/casey_gerald_embrace_your_raw_strange_magic?rid=rs0B8PCM3rTN

After the morning drive inspiration and affirmation that balance is my perfect intention I set off to work for the first time after holiday. It was a great day between work and having a tea party with my favorite little girl while dinner cooked. Followed by some awesome snuggles with my little man (photo not included).

Then I let my balance shift. I decided to check my email after dinner and realized I missed a meeting that had been scheduled, and that I knew about, during kid pickup. It was one of those meetings that 30+ people were invited to attend, only a handful would participate and really my participation was not needed since I work with an amazing team. Yet, I found myself disappointed that I forgot about the meeting and then, the TED talk from the morning drive floated like the awakening smell of a strongly brewed coffee on a cold winter morning.

My best balance act of the day was gifted to me from the stars and my forgetful memory. My best act was choosing what was right for me, and in doing so my teammates are trusted and my family is loved.

I worked today along with my team and I happily played with my children who were reminded again that mama hopes for a world where our choice is always connection and love.

To the teams that support me every day at home and at work, to the star gazers who dream with me for a happy and healthy world – thank you for granting me this gift today.

I am as excited as my little man with a new snow tube in winter!

Presents

All the gifts are under the tree;

But still, I have one from me.

In the twinkle of each light,

I give to you my song so bright.

Sing it loud throughout the year,

To everyone, share my cheer.

With each note bring magic and joy,

A smile from much more than a toy.

For love and compassion is my gift you,

May it bless you this year through.

To all my loves, may this find you well and heartfull.

My thanksgiving- 2020

To my little ones

I fill my heart with light and love. I let it flow through me to grow, taking as little as possible.

So that you may know what the power of positivity brings.

It can be hard work; to cultivate, to connect, to be grounded, and to nourish where you find light and love.

Never shy away from that hard work.

That hard work is the only true work the world needs. The rest that we do, we do to fill time, hide our pains, to stay disconnected.

When you feel pain, disconnect, longing, call back to me, to your heart.

Call back to fill yourself with light and love…be heartfull.

The Tree Lady

There is such beauty in a field in harvest, cool crisp air, changing colors of leaves, the quieting of the wildlife before winter. Something rings dear to me in these days of reflection before the winter days of rest. Today, I can feel the pressing cooler air and it is urging me to ready my gardens for winter and prepare the home for the cozy blankets of winter snow. Before we get too cold though, there is still time for fall planting (always time for just one more) and in these thoughts I find the urge to share with you one of my favorite places to be Heartfull in early fall.

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.
Emily Brontë

For those of us in Menominee/Marinette I hope you will soon know the place of which I write; but for those this blog reaches that live farther away, I hope you have “a tree lady” just like us.

Truth be told she has more than trees but both of my little ones knew how to say tree before any of the other plants so it is the tale of the tree lady that brings us Heartfull today.

I am blessed to share with you a place to visit that is full of plants and knowledge, carefully and artfully tended by “our tree lady”. You see, she welcomes the kids in just the way we live, Heartfull.

There are rows to be run, berries to be picked, puddles to splash and garden carts for grand adventure rides around the rose bushes and lilacs. Here we learn why our peach trees need more tending from leaf curl, our variegated maple needs trimming to stay variegated (who knew?), and why that tree over there won’t be ready for pickup and planting until the fall – because we just won’t have a tree leave the lot until it is perfectly ready.

Here Ms. Eileen, our tree lady, is more to us than a place to shop for perennials and trees. Ms. Eileen, with her garden lot tucked within the town, provides a haven to those Heartfull, those of us looking for the right plants in just the right spots, for just the right memories.

Joey helping to plant a special tree to call his own from Ms. Eileen.

So, as the fall air arrives think about taking a drive over to visit your “tree lady”.

If you are local to us, I hope to see you at one of my favorite spots. Wherever you go, go Heartfull and ready to bring the family, a cup off coffee, tea or hot chocolate and shop around for a fall planting or dream up some plans for the spring.

My favorite fall tree spot:

Mr. McGregor’s Garden

Calm of Mind

There is calm in the mind but too often it is behind the noise we create.

I find myself with a few minutes of just me but in that can I find calm of mind or is it littered with stress, worry, thought, the panic of the unknown? More than likely the time of calm is too easily filled with chaos.

This little one can be full of the energy of a thousand horses but yet his mind and heart when tended are the happiest and calmest I know. He finds joy in the simple moment of his sister finding the camera, and if I have a heartfull I can also find calm in the interaction.

I wonder how we create stress over calm though, why chose the pain over the joy?

But yet, I know how easy it can be to stress. I often find myself in the moment of crisis, what decision should I make, what is best for the team, how can I serve then most? Worry and stress so easily flood my heart.

None of it is real though.

The reality is that the stress and worry is part of an imagined future, one not yet created. I then realize the worry and stress is for nothing, the worry and stress can wait.

One of my favorite poems as a mother ends with:

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

Babies do not keep and nor does life. The stress and the worry we create are not our reality, but rather a distraction. To be blunt but true, if you are stressed but your life is not in danger,

you have created the stress and can simply say

“this is not real”. Calm the mind, see it clear.

For now, take a deep breath and clear your mind. I think the coming weeks we can work on what to do after the “this is not real” and the breath. There is no rush, there is only the right time, the right day, the right moment. We may not know the when, but let’s trust they how and the time.

Live Heartfull as you breath and think upon the ease of a calm mind, the peace of an open heart.

Be calm, be you

Go ahead, let those you love take control, think about how you find calm as they lead the way, how do you best give to all those around?

Are you aware?

Some days feel like i have no idea what I did in the day. I suppose I rush in the morning to wake up and get everyone off to school and work, I frantically move through email all day, I rush to leave the office, I gather up my children in a bustle of pickup lines, then head back home for dinner, clean, play, bath and bed.

If you have these days, you are are my kindred spirit.

At the end of these days I lay down and with a deep breath and sadly wonder, where did the day go? What did I really do today? Why is it so chaotic?

The days when I wonder if I should just go back into my little hiding spot!

That’s when I become aware though, because I cherish my days and my moments when I am heartfull. So, when I have the reflection of a “crazy day”, that is when I realize I missed connections that day and I was not aware.

Then I do MY SECRET THING: I breathe deep and then I smile.

That’s my secret sauce, I just breathe and smile.

My mom taught me so long ago, when something is hard just take a deep breath and focus on the smallest part of the problem or issue. As it turns out, it was the best advice.

In the seconds of a purposeful breathe and gentle smile you find the ease of any moment.

In that moment of breath and smile you have a choice. Option 1 is to breathe and regret or judge the day. Option 2 is to be gentle with yourself and be aware of the moment.

It is pretty hard to pick the first option when you are smiling.

After this simple secret, I am to be aware again.

I am able to see the next morning not with rush but with excitement.
I see the flurry of emails as collaboration.
I see the pickup lines of growth and love with each family.
I see dinner as a work of art.
I see cleaning as playtime and playtime as a grand adventure.
I see bedtime as cuddles and snuggles of warmth for our dreams.
I am heartfull again.

A breath and a smile, simple as can be, to open to awareness.

Now what adventures will you find? What connections will you make? How will you be heartfull?

Connection

We can all benefit from the energy and warmth of being connected. It is inspiring when we actively connect to people who share our passions, it is grounding to actively share our energy and warmth with people in need of compassion.

When I connect, I feel energized and strong. When I just think about connection, I feel disconnected and isolated.

You see, for me, connection is in the present and I only achieve it when I am present and aware, able to give and receive. A coincidence, as it might be described, but that would be by chance and random, connection needs action to be formed.

Just the other day I was trying to remember when my next massage was scheduled. I had just coordinated it but true to me, I could not remember the detail of the appointment. Of course I was not near my phone, which has become the only way I remember to make any appointment right now; so the hope of me remembering to check the date and time of the appointment was fading as fast. However, I am blessed to have found and formed a connection with my massage therapist and when I did find my phone a few hours later, she had thankfully messaged me to remind me that I had never confirmed the next appointment.

Do I call the timing of her reaching out coincidence? No. I call it connection and both of us being aware of each other in the same time and worldly place.

Without that action and resulting connection I would be feeling disconnected and definitely would not have made the appointment today!

Think of a time when an old friend popped into your mind and you decided to call them. Isn’t the response on the other end of the line typically “I was just thinking of you”? Then the stories and connections recharge and lighten your day.

We have time now to reconnect to ourselves as much as each other. Being mindful of each other and opening ourselves to connecting in the unseen ways and then the action of reaching out with a call, a card, a wave.

Are you open to connect to those needing you and those you need? Is your mind calm and positive to recognize those connections? Is your heart full to give and receive in the connections?

In the coming days I will share what works for me to call on and cultivate connections of positivity and light

Open my awareness
Calm my mind
Fill my heart

To start today, think of a place that brings you peace let the thoughts of the place and your feelings in that space fill your heart.

A little sun in a bountiful garden is peace to me. May you fill your heart in your peaceful places u til we connect again. Warmest regards – Heartfull

Kindness

Standing outside last night the land was flooded with the light of the corn moon. With such presence, my thoughts were pulled to bounty and harvest. I asked myself, what am I thankful for and then I asked what holds me back from saying thank you.

I am thankful for the desire and opportunities to constantly learn and grow as my views are expanded by knowledge and moreover by awareness.

I am held back by my fear that I don’t yet know enough to take action.

Concentrate like your mind needs this food, Emily will assist with her thinking face as you dig deep!

If you were to answer these questions what would the answers be? Write down the answers and really look at them on paper, don’t let the thoughts be passing words in the chaos of your mind. This is your joy and your limitation.

Thankfulness intentions and limitations set?

The hard part is over, this is where the kindness comes in today.

Review your limitation words and take a deep breath. Open your eyes and heart to your limitation. Smile at your limitation, it holds onto you and clings because it is unable to move in time as you can, it hurts because it knows you are in the now and it is in the past. Give the limitation your kindness, take time to remember the moment you formed the limitation. Maybe it was in hurt, grief, sadness, loss. Give those moments your love and kindness of today and let them go. Cross off your limitation and know that it was a past thought but it no longer fits in your today.

Now turn to your joy in the current moment. Smile at what brings you happiness and excitement. Look right now at the feelings and being of the moment. Let the moment fill your heart with more kindness and replenish yourself from the energy of letting go of your limitation. In this moment, remember that

kindness is free and renewable.

Thank you for connecting with me today. Just now we have harvested, planted, and cultivated kindness.

Now where will we share our kindness today?

Welcome and hello

Hello and welcome. Welcome to the space where we live Heartfull.

2020 has finally pushed me off the path of easy and paved to here, heartfull and heart entire. Here in this moment I am … 36, I always have to do the math! I am a mother of 6, 4 of which came to my heart from my partner Pat, but without them my family is not complete. We live in a few acres in Wisconsin/Michigan on the lower border of the Upper Peninsula. We have 6 chickens, 1 dog and a beautiful little farm. I have a degree in Electrical Engineering from the University of Maryland and have worked at Lockheed Martin for 15 years.

By all views, life is good here but as I said … 2020. This year and in this moment I realize that with everything I have done I have been walking on the paved path, not really even tending to the path along the way for the next person. No more can I just walk the path, quite honestly the views are too framed, the path is feeling a little tight and well it isn’t as smooth as it appears.

I am making this blog to create a space where we can find our hearts and get off the beaten path. Let’s explore our hearts, let’s create, let’s share our successes and our struggles. I will be here to share our adventures and how I am growing live Heartfull.

With all my heart,

Michelle

I don’t think of all the misery but of all the beauty that still remains. — Anne Frank

Emily and Joey harvesting our 2020 garden. We planted from seed under the Worm super moon in March as well as a few plants from one of our local Garden Centers: https://eriksgardencenter.com/

The look on their faces – Heartfull!